You can find normal, non master of your domain, posts here
www.ahoythoy.blogspot.com
Will I ever return here on another conquest? Doubtful, but you never know.
Thanks for reading and thanks for believing.
- R.P. McMurphy
3/26/08
Farewell Blog
I'm done with this here blog.
You can find normal, non master of your domain, posts here
www.ahoythoy.blogspot.com
Will I ever return here on another conquest? Doubtful, but you never know.
Thanks for reading and thanks for believing.
- R.P. McMurphy
You can find normal, non master of your domain, posts here
www.ahoythoy.blogspot.com
Will I ever return here on another conquest? Doubtful, but you never know.
Thanks for reading and thanks for believing.
- R.P. McMurphy
3/23/08
Completion of MOYD Numeral II
DAY FORTY SEVEN 6:20pm on 3/23/08
In all technical aspects of lent...I am done. I am done. I am done. I am done. Oh boy I am done. This year was longer and ten times harder and mentally damaging. But I am done. This is my first post since Tuesday. I did that on purpose. This last week was not easy like I thought it would be. I was very weak. I couldn't afford to come here and think about it even more. But I return, and I am done.
I really enjoyed mass today. I thought of it as a celebration- like when a politician wins the race. It was like that, but we also got a piece of wafer bread and a sip of wine. I'm kind of at a lost for words here, struggling to put something together one last time. All I can come up with is "I am done."
This puppy will still continue though. I'm not going to end the streak on the holiest day of the year. I promised Jesus that, today at church. Plus I am incredibly exhausted and might even make it to bed before midnight for once in my life. It might not even end tomorrow though. I have a really busy day ahead of me. I am moving one of my senile Great Aunts stuff from one home an hour away to another even further. Not exactly what I want to do to celebrate, and I was kind of con'd into helping today at easter too. But alas I am a good soul and will help my family because that is what family's are for. After that I have a hockey game. So tomorrow doesn't look like the end of this. After that it will be day 48, and than we will see where I go from there. It would be nice to end at 50. That is a solid number. It doesn't sound as funny though as 47 or 48. Like if someone to ask, in a general conversation,
"what is the longest you have gone without jerking off?"
"47 days"
That just sounds funny to me. 50 sounds fake. But 47, no, no one would make up that number. Mark Egan brought up to me though that his first reaction to this would be "umm, you know exactly how many days...ok?" So who knows, I'm more than likely standing alone here.
Alright, I'm going to go bask in glory for awhile. I'll be back here for probably one more update. I'm going to try and keep the blog going, 'cause it gives me an excuse to write. I'm more than likely going to get a new one though for a new start. I figure enough people have read this monster so I don't need to advertise it anymore. I'll post the new url here or my lj.
For the last time
Confidence Meter: 10!
In all technical aspects of lent...I am done. I am done. I am done. I am done. Oh boy I am done. This year was longer and ten times harder and mentally damaging. But I am done. This is my first post since Tuesday. I did that on purpose. This last week was not easy like I thought it would be. I was very weak. I couldn't afford to come here and think about it even more. But I return, and I am done.
I really enjoyed mass today. I thought of it as a celebration- like when a politician wins the race. It was like that, but we also got a piece of wafer bread and a sip of wine. I'm kind of at a lost for words here, struggling to put something together one last time. All I can come up with is "I am done."
This puppy will still continue though. I'm not going to end the streak on the holiest day of the year. I promised Jesus that, today at church. Plus I am incredibly exhausted and might even make it to bed before midnight for once in my life. It might not even end tomorrow though. I have a really busy day ahead of me. I am moving one of my senile Great Aunts stuff from one home an hour away to another even further. Not exactly what I want to do to celebrate, and I was kind of con'd into helping today at easter too. But alas I am a good soul and will help my family because that is what family's are for. After that I have a hockey game. So tomorrow doesn't look like the end of this. After that it will be day 48, and than we will see where I go from there. It would be nice to end at 50. That is a solid number. It doesn't sound as funny though as 47 or 48. Like if someone to ask, in a general conversation,
"what is the longest you have gone without jerking off?"
"47 days"
That just sounds funny to me. 50 sounds fake. But 47, no, no one would make up that number. Mark Egan brought up to me though that his first reaction to this would be "umm, you know exactly how many days...ok?" So who knows, I'm more than likely standing alone here.
Alright, I'm going to go bask in glory for awhile. I'll be back here for probably one more update. I'm going to try and keep the blog going, 'cause it gives me an excuse to write. I'm more than likely going to get a new one though for a new start. I figure enough people have read this monster so I don't need to advertise it anymore. I'll post the new url here or my lj.
For the last time
Confidence Meter: 10!
3/18/08
Attempt at MOYD Numeral II
DAY FORTY TWO 6:00pm on 3/18/08
Too hungover to even think about this.
I have to get this post out of the way and than go lay some more.
Confidence Meter: 7
Too hungover to even think about this.
I have to get this post out of the way and than go lay some more.
Confidence Meter: 7
3/17/08
Attempt at MOYD Numeral II
DAY FORTY ONE 10:26pm on 3/17/08
Today marks numerous occasions. First off, today is St. Patty's Day- the greatest none holiday there is. It's also thrill houses b-day. Can't forget that. It sucks to have a b-day on a non national holiday but Ill gets a pass because his b-day coincides with a drinkin' holiday.
More importantly today is the forty first day in a row that I have not jerked off. That is a new all time high. I'm kind of glowing right now. Assholes are in the other room playing "drinking games". The best part is that I started drinking way before these fucks because. I'm actually Irish (thanks poppop I love you!) and I'm more gone than than them but I can still manage to post here because it's still in the best nature of the cause.
I miss Sean, an actual Irish man!
Feeling so confident that I sleep naked these days! FUCK YOU!
Confidence Meter: 8-HOLY SHIT
Today marks numerous occasions. First off, today is St. Patty's Day- the greatest none holiday there is. It's also thrill houses b-day. Can't forget that. It sucks to have a b-day on a non national holiday but Ill gets a pass because his b-day coincides with a drinkin' holiday.
More importantly today is the forty first day in a row that I have not jerked off. That is a new all time high. I'm kind of glowing right now. Assholes are in the other room playing "drinking games". The best part is that I started drinking way before these fucks because. I'm actually Irish (thanks poppop I love you!) and I'm more gone than than them but I can still manage to post here because it's still in the best nature of the cause.
I miss Sean, an actual Irish man!
Feeling so confident that I sleep naked these days! FUCK YOU!
Confidence Meter: 8-HOLY SHIT
3/16/08
Attempt at MOYD Numeral II
DAY FORTY 10:25pm on 3/16/08
This is what we call the home stretch. I can see the light ahead. You can basically insert any of your favorite clichés here and it will work. Tom is back to power me through this. I can't see myself failing at this, especially at this point.
Confidence Meter: 7
This is what we call the home stretch. I can see the light ahead. You can basically insert any of your favorite clichés here and it will work. Tom is back to power me through this. I can't see myself failing at this, especially at this point.
Confidence Meter: 7
3/15/08
Attempt at MOYD Numeral II
DAY THIRTY EIGHT/NINE 5:07am on 3/15/08
Finally under ten days. That feels so good.
I didn't have a chance to update yesterday because Andrew and myself went down to Bayside around 4 pm and proceeded to spend the entire night there. It was all capped off by another Blake Hoffarber miracle play... AWWW good times
This shit has nothing on me.
->still drunk 5:09am
Confidence Meter: 6
Finally under ten days. That feels so good.
I didn't have a chance to update yesterday because Andrew and myself went down to Bayside around 4 pm and proceeded to spend the entire night there. It was all capped off by another Blake Hoffarber miracle play... AWWW good times
This shit has nothing on me.
->still drunk 5:09am
Confidence Meter: 6
3/13/08
Attempt at MOYD Numeral II
DAY THIRTY SEVEN 7:05pm on 3/13/08
I fucked up again. I can't say I only have ten days until tomorrow. Goddammit.
Today hasn't been bad. There were some decent hoops games that kept me intrigued/entertained. The faster I get to the weekend, the better off my mindset will be.
Confidence Meter: 3
I fucked up again. I can't say I only have ten days until tomorrow. Goddammit.
Today hasn't been bad. There were some decent hoops games that kept me intrigued/entertained. The faster I get to the weekend, the better off my mindset will be.
Confidence Meter: 3
3/12/08
Attempt at MOYD Numeral II
DAY THIRTY SIX 5:14pm on 3/12/08
A few entries ago I mentioned that I might have screwed up the days but I would save that discovery for a different date. That day was today and I, in fact, screwed up the days- for the worse. I thought today would be the marker where I could say I only had ten days left. A glance at the calendar tells me otherwise. That day is in fact tomorrow. Ugh. Nothing is going right this week.
Confidence Meter: 2
A few entries ago I mentioned that I might have screwed up the days but I would save that discovery for a different date. That day was today and I, in fact, screwed up the days- for the worse. I thought today would be the marker where I could say I only had ten days left. A glance at the calendar tells me otherwise. That day is in fact tomorrow. Ugh. Nothing is going right this week.
Confidence Meter: 2
3/11/08
Attempt at MOYD Numeral II
DAY THIRTY FIVE 9:02pm on 3/11/08
It has been a touch day.
Nothing blog worthy.
The anger is rising.
Ryan Sheckler is not helping.
Confidence Meter: 2
It has been a touch day.
Nothing blog worthy.
The anger is rising.
Ryan Sheckler is not helping.
Confidence Meter: 2
3/10/08
Attempt at MOYD Numeral II
DAY THIRTY FOUR 7:38pm on 3/10/08
I foresee this week being the toughest yet. The only reason I say that is because many of my peeps will be around next week for portions and they will be able to carry me to the promise land. I think I'll strap on the nut cup and just see what happens. This naked lady machine has been killing me. It is crucial that I avoid it as much as possible. I might sleep out on the couch some nights too, that might work. My mood will probably be very unattractive- pretty much the male version of PMS. Post Masturbation Syndrome.
Fuck this. Seriously.
Confidence Meter: 3
I foresee this week being the toughest yet. The only reason I say that is because many of my peeps will be around next week for portions and they will be able to carry me to the promise land. I think I'll strap on the nut cup and just see what happens. This naked lady machine has been killing me. It is crucial that I avoid it as much as possible. I might sleep out on the couch some nights too, that might work. My mood will probably be very unattractive- pretty much the male version of PMS. Post Masturbation Syndrome.
Fuck this. Seriously.
Confidence Meter: 3
3/9/08
Attempt at MOYD Numeral II
DAY THIRTY THREE 3:23pm on 3/9/08
I might need to go to church sometime before Easter Sunday. This conquest is heavily personal and not so much spiritual. Thats entirely ok, I have had that mentality from the get go. However, I feel that if I attend church that I might be able to receive some sort of deeper validation for giving up something so severe. There could be great praise being able to sit next to every-week Sunday church goers, knowing that they too have giving up something close to them. The ultimate confidence booster would be knowing that whatever they gave up for lent is no way more impressive than what I have. Definite ticket into Heaven.
Confidence Meter: 5
I might need to go to church sometime before Easter Sunday. This conquest is heavily personal and not so much spiritual. Thats entirely ok, I have had that mentality from the get go. However, I feel that if I attend church that I might be able to receive some sort of deeper validation for giving up something so severe. There could be great praise being able to sit next to every-week Sunday church goers, knowing that they too have giving up something close to them. The ultimate confidence booster would be knowing that whatever they gave up for lent is no way more impressive than what I have. Definite ticket into Heaven.
Confidence Meter: 5
3/8/08
Attempt at MOYD Numeral II
DAY THIRTY TWO 4:49pm on 3/8/08
Today should be a breeze (see all other Saturday posts. This Saturday should be even easier because there seems to be actual stuff going on, so that leaves little time to myself. If Saturday Fun Day pans out, I should be to day thirty three in no time.
Confidence Meter: 7
Today should be a breeze (see all other Saturday posts. This Saturday should be even easier because there seems to be actual stuff going on, so that leaves little time to myself. If Saturday Fun Day pans out, I should be to day thirty three in no time.
Confidence Meter: 7
3/7/08
Attempt at MOYD Numeral II
DAY THIRTY ONE 6:27pm on 3/7/08
I'm really starting to hope that somehow I miss counted and that I'm closer to Easter than I think. I'm waiting to go back and confirm the days for a later, more shaky, date.
Go Benilde!
Confidence Meter: 6
I'm really starting to hope that somehow I miss counted and that I'm closer to Easter than I think. I'm waiting to go back and confirm the days for a later, more shaky, date.
Go Benilde!
Confidence Meter: 6
3/6/08
Attempt at MOYD Numeral II
DAY THIRTY 9:18 on 3/6/08
My days are simply becoming check marks on the calendar. I'm not trying to sound moving or poetic, that's just the way it is. I don't look at days as days, as a period of twenty four hours where stuff happens. I look at them as being a check mark that gets closer to that circle around the 23rd.
In other news, I got my computer back. It was in Young America and I had been using my moms laptop. Having this naked lady machine at my disposal is really quite the distraction. My mom's laptop really wasn't a naked lady machine. It was just something to check email with and post here. Comparing the two would be like post and pre Target Mongoose BMX bikes (If you know what I'm saying)
Confidence Meter: 5
My days are simply becoming check marks on the calendar. I'm not trying to sound moving or poetic, that's just the way it is. I don't look at days as days, as a period of twenty four hours where stuff happens. I look at them as being a check mark that gets closer to that circle around the 23rd.
In other news, I got my computer back. It was in Young America and I had been using my moms laptop. Having this naked lady machine at my disposal is really quite the distraction. My mom's laptop really wasn't a naked lady machine. It was just something to check email with and post here. Comparing the two would be like post and pre Target Mongoose BMX bikes (If you know what I'm saying)
Confidence Meter: 5
3/5/08
Attempt at MOYD Numeral II
DAY TWENTY EIGHT/TWENTY NINE 3:15 on 03/5/08
I'm checking in on this from the public library. I came to do research. I'm surrounded by multiple people and they have no clue that I'm currently typing in a blog about not cumming.
I'm getting there I suppose. I feel like if I get through this week and get it under 10 days than I'll be super motivated to push till the end. This week shouldn't be an issue. Last night I tried to get drunk off of wine. It just wasn't happening. People tell me it grows on you and that all of a sudden you'll just love it. I don't see that happening. I'd rather just drink alcohol or beer. I didn't sleep much last night. It's been like that since the puppy moved in. Speaking of which, I had to get away from him. In a total of one hour this morning, he pissed ten times- no bullshit. Six times outside and four inside. Fucking weird dog. So I was angry at him and of course, once again, he just walks in my lap and falls asleep. Oh puppies.
I'm staying moderately busy this week so there isn't really a lot of downtime to think about jerking off. Plus the High School Hockey Tournament started today. Four games a day for the next few days. That's plenty of entertainment to allow me to sit easy. Alright, I have some work to do (College tourney bracketing) and they only allow you to be on these comps for an hour, so I have to get going.
Confidence Meter: 7
I'm checking in on this from the public library. I came to do research. I'm surrounded by multiple people and they have no clue that I'm currently typing in a blog about not cumming.
I'm getting there I suppose. I feel like if I get through this week and get it under 10 days than I'll be super motivated to push till the end. This week shouldn't be an issue. Last night I tried to get drunk off of wine. It just wasn't happening. People tell me it grows on you and that all of a sudden you'll just love it. I don't see that happening. I'd rather just drink alcohol or beer. I didn't sleep much last night. It's been like that since the puppy moved in. Speaking of which, I had to get away from him. In a total of one hour this morning, he pissed ten times- no bullshit. Six times outside and four inside. Fucking weird dog. So I was angry at him and of course, once again, he just walks in my lap and falls asleep. Oh puppies.
I'm staying moderately busy this week so there isn't really a lot of downtime to think about jerking off. Plus the High School Hockey Tournament started today. Four games a day for the next few days. That's plenty of entertainment to allow me to sit easy. Alright, I have some work to do (College tourney bracketing) and they only allow you to be on these comps for an hour, so I have to get going.
Confidence Meter: 7
3/3/08
Attempt at MOYD Numeral II
DAY TWENTY SEVEN 9:08pm on 3/3/08
I might have found my savior. His name is Soleil (don't ask) and is a six week old puppy. Justin purchased him on Friday and he just might be the thing that keeps me going. This morning, after Justin and Megan left for work, he was in his kennel crying. The first couple of nights he would do this and eventually stop. Not this morning though. I sat there staring at my ceiling (the dog is directly above me and sound travels perfectly through the vents)thinking, "goddamnit." So I got up and let him out and brought him out to pee and whatnot. We proceeded to play for the rest of the day. He would get crazy and start gnawing at my clothes and toes and I would freak out and yell. Than he would just come and lay on me and fall asleep. We had two glorious naps together. We're going to be best friends.
Note: I'm loosing the comp for a few days tomorrow and will have to catch up on posts later.
Confidence Meter: 6
I might have found my savior. His name is Soleil (don't ask) and is a six week old puppy. Justin purchased him on Friday and he just might be the thing that keeps me going. This morning, after Justin and Megan left for work, he was in his kennel crying. The first couple of nights he would do this and eventually stop. Not this morning though. I sat there staring at my ceiling (the dog is directly above me and sound travels perfectly through the vents)thinking, "goddamnit." So I got up and let him out and brought him out to pee and whatnot. We proceeded to play for the rest of the day. He would get crazy and start gnawing at my clothes and toes and I would freak out and yell. Than he would just come and lay on me and fall asleep. We had two glorious naps together. We're going to be best friends.
Note: I'm loosing the comp for a few days tomorrow and will have to catch up on posts later.
Confidence Meter: 6
3/2/08
Attempt at MOYD Numeral II
DAY TWENTY SIX 8:39pm on 3/2/08
Boring day. Sitting around the house. No one else is home. Not even the new puppy to play with.
Test of my true will ahead.
Confidence Meter: 1
Boring day. Sitting around the house. No one else is home. Not even the new puppy to play with.
Test of my true will ahead.
Confidence Meter: 1
3/1/08
Attempt at MOYD Numeral II
DAY TWENTY FIVE 8:47pm on 3/1/08
A new month. Hopefully a new outlook on this shitfest of an idea. It is comforting to look at my calendar and actually see Easter Sunday.
It's the weekend. I don't have problems with this on the weekend. I always have something going on, plus I work late nights so there is no lying in bed-can't fall asleep time to worry about. I don't know, if March lives up to the potential of being awesome that it should, I might be able to get through this without going completely crazy. Heres to that wishful thinking.
Confidence Meter: 5
A new month. Hopefully a new outlook on this shitfest of an idea. It is comforting to look at my calendar and actually see Easter Sunday.
It's the weekend. I don't have problems with this on the weekend. I always have something going on, plus I work late nights so there is no lying in bed-can't fall asleep time to worry about. I don't know, if March lives up to the potential of being awesome that it should, I might be able to get through this without going completely crazy. Heres to that wishful thinking.
Confidence Meter: 5
2/29/08
Attempt at MOYD Numeral II
DAY TWENTY FOUR 11:59pm on 2/29/08
Hey its leap day!. I won't get to jerk off on a leap day for another four years. I better jump all over this opportunity. Or I'll just get drunk and cry.
Confidence Meter: 3
Hey its leap day!. I won't get to jerk off on a leap day for another four years. I better jump all over this opportunity. Or I'll just get drunk and cry.
Confidence Meter: 3
2/28/08
Attempt at MOYD Numeral II
DAY TWENTY THREE 2/28/08
This is the halfway point to this disaster. There were some times during the first half where I was feeling rather confident in a successful end to this. However, when I compare the first half of this years lent to last years, I feel like this is a lost cause. All kinds of different shit is happening to me this year that never occurred last year. I don't want to go into detail about the "shit" on here though. It's really unfortunate too, I feel Jesus watching over my shoulder every time I write one of these journals. I wonder if he has the internet. Well fuck, I'm really bumming myself out right now.
Confidence Meter: 2
This is the halfway point to this disaster. There were some times during the first half where I was feeling rather confident in a successful end to this. However, when I compare the first half of this years lent to last years, I feel like this is a lost cause. All kinds of different shit is happening to me this year that never occurred last year. I don't want to go into detail about the "shit" on here though. It's really unfortunate too, I feel Jesus watching over my shoulder every time I write one of these journals. I wonder if he has the internet. Well fuck, I'm really bumming myself out right now.
Confidence Meter: 2
2/27/08
Attempt at MOYD Numeral II
DAY TWENTY TWO 11:58 on 2/27/08
Tonight Justin, Andy, and myself went down to Mariucci for two hockey section championship games. Benilde vs. Minnetonka and Burnsville vs. Edina. It was awesome. Both games went into overtime and were really exciting. Benilde beat tonka and Edina beat Burnsiville. The place was a zoo. It took forever to get down there and actually into the game. Most packed non-state game I have ever seen. So needless to say there were a lot of females there. Thats all I am going to say and I'll end on a Dan Frost quote:
"Man I hope this feeling fades before I'm 30"
Confidence Meter: 4
Tonight Justin, Andy, and myself went down to Mariucci for two hockey section championship games. Benilde vs. Minnetonka and Burnsville vs. Edina. It was awesome. Both games went into overtime and were really exciting. Benilde beat tonka and Edina beat Burnsiville. The place was a zoo. It took forever to get down there and actually into the game. Most packed non-state game I have ever seen. So needless to say there were a lot of females there. Thats all I am going to say and I'll end on a Dan Frost quote:
"Man I hope this feeling fades before I'm 30"
Confidence Meter: 4
2/26/08
Attempt at MOYD Numeral II
DAY TWENTY ONE 8:57pm on 2/26/08
Keltie Martin is to 2008 lent as Jumanji was to 2007 lent.
Confidence Meter: 4
Keltie Martin is to 2008 lent as Jumanji was to 2007 lent.
Confidence Meter: 4
2/25/08
Attempt at MOYD Numeral II
DAY TWENTY 11:04 on 2/25/08
Because I'm doing so well with this I started to think I could pretty much quit anything. So I went ahead and tried to quit soda. I drink way too much. That was going well, I stopped on Monday. Before, when I have tried to quit, I would get pretty intense headaches. That didn't happen this time. It was going great, but than Justin's friends, who came up for the weekend, left a bunch of alcohol (awesome!)and mixers. I was sitting around today and I poured myself a cup of coke, not even really realizing it. I was just like, "fuck". Since than I have polished off the rest of the 2 liter.
Its moments like this this that keep me in check on not whacking off. It was a nice wake up call on day twenty.
Confidence Meter: 5
Because I'm doing so well with this I started to think I could pretty much quit anything. So I went ahead and tried to quit soda. I drink way too much. That was going well, I stopped on Monday. Before, when I have tried to quit, I would get pretty intense headaches. That didn't happen this time. It was going great, but than Justin's friends, who came up for the weekend, left a bunch of alcohol (awesome!)and mixers. I was sitting around today and I poured myself a cup of coke, not even really realizing it. I was just like, "fuck". Since than I have polished off the rest of the 2 liter.
Its moments like this this that keep me in check on not whacking off. It was a nice wake up call on day twenty.
Confidence Meter: 5
2/24/08
Attempt at MOYD Numeral II
DAY NINETEEN 6:07pm on 2/24/08
I'm too exhausted right now to even think about jerking off. I would probably fall asleep midway through (see 2/10 entry). Hopefully this translates to me getting to bed at a decent hour. I have to hit the job scene hard tomorrow. No time to jerk off.
Confidence Meter: 8
I'm too exhausted right now to even think about jerking off. I would probably fall asleep midway through (see 2/10 entry). Hopefully this translates to me getting to bed at a decent hour. I have to hit the job scene hard tomorrow. No time to jerk off.
Confidence Meter: 8
2/23/08
Attempt at MOYD Numeral II
DAY EIGHTEEN 6:30 on 02/23/08
Smooth sailing for the next couple of days. Justin has a bunch of his buddies from school coming up for a concert or something and they will be spending the night here, in the basement, tonight and tomorrow. As fun as it would be to blare porn at 5 am when I get done with work...I think I'll refrain.
Confidence Meter: 7
Smooth sailing for the next couple of days. Justin has a bunch of his buddies from school coming up for a concert or something and they will be spending the night here, in the basement, tonight and tomorrow. As fun as it would be to blare porn at 5 am when I get done with work...I think I'll refrain.
Confidence Meter: 7
2/22/08
Attempt at MOYD Numeral II
DAY SEVENTEEN 9:43pm on 02/22/08
Today while shifting through the city pages at work I came across an add for sperm donations for cash. Being pretty strapped for cash, this was quite the trick on Jesus' (City Page editors) part.
Confidence Meter: 7
Today while shifting through the city pages at work I came across an add for sperm donations for cash. Being pretty strapped for cash, this was quite the trick on Jesus' (City Page editors) part.
Confidence Meter: 7
2/21/08
Attempt at MOYD Numeral II
DAY SIXTEEN 11:08 on 02/21/08
I think people want to see me fail at this. My friends at least. I don't blame them, seeing that this is pretty much torture for normal males. Last night at Chris' we watched Death Race 2000, a hilarious "satiric" movie from the 70's about a race where people get points for running over people. But there were some obligatory boobies scenes. I mean its just like that vintage shit I mentioned several entries ago, nothing special. Still, someone in my situation shouldn't be sat in front of stuff like that. I mean the porn bloopers are different. Thats on my own time and it was a way for me to let loose a little in this game. 70's big nipple boobies were on Chris' time and he kept looking at me during every nudie scene and shifting his eyebrows all fast and queer like. So, yea, you're a true friend of Jesus if you don't want to see me fail.
Confidence Meter: 6
I think people want to see me fail at this. My friends at least. I don't blame them, seeing that this is pretty much torture for normal males. Last night at Chris' we watched Death Race 2000, a hilarious "satiric" movie from the 70's about a race where people get points for running over people. But there were some obligatory boobies scenes. I mean its just like that vintage shit I mentioned several entries ago, nothing special. Still, someone in my situation shouldn't be sat in front of stuff like that. I mean the porn bloopers are different. Thats on my own time and it was a way for me to let loose a little in this game. 70's big nipple boobies were on Chris' time and he kept looking at me during every nudie scene and shifting his eyebrows all fast and queer like. So, yea, you're a true friend of Jesus if you don't want to see me fail.
Confidence Meter: 6
2/20/08
Attempt at MOYD Numeral II
DAY FIFTEEN 2:57pm on 02/20/08
Two weeks in, about five to go, little over a month. Full swing into it now. Still not even half way through though. Oh well. I just watched porno bloopers for about ten minutes because I needed to see some boobies, but not in a complete sexual way. There are some damn funny bloopers out there.
Last night I watched Gone, Baby, Gone. Casey Affleck stars in it and is a bad ass. He is a great actor. What does this have to do with jerking off? ... no, I'm not that gay. It has to deal with jerking off because every time I see Casey Affleck I automatically think of the character he plays in Good Will Hunting, Morgan. His character is damn funny in that movie. So last night when I was watching the movie and was thinking of Morgan, I thought about the scene when Matt Damon, Ben Affleck, and that other dude are just sitting around the house and they hear porn sounds and they yell at Morgan and he comes running down all exhausted and says, "Whats up fellas?" Funny scene. Thats all I got.
Confidence Meter: 7
Two weeks in, about five to go, little over a month. Full swing into it now. Still not even half way through though. Oh well. I just watched porno bloopers for about ten minutes because I needed to see some boobies, but not in a complete sexual way. There are some damn funny bloopers out there.
Last night I watched Gone, Baby, Gone. Casey Affleck stars in it and is a bad ass. He is a great actor. What does this have to do with jerking off? ... no, I'm not that gay. It has to deal with jerking off because every time I see Casey Affleck I automatically think of the character he plays in Good Will Hunting, Morgan. His character is damn funny in that movie. So last night when I was watching the movie and was thinking of Morgan, I thought about the scene when Matt Damon, Ben Affleck, and that other dude are just sitting around the house and they hear porn sounds and they yell at Morgan and he comes running down all exhausted and says, "Whats up fellas?" Funny scene. Thats all I got.
Confidence Meter: 7
2/19/08
Attempt at MOYD Numeral II
DAY FOURTEEN 10:55pm on 02/19/08
I'm kind of running out of juice for this diary deal. I feel like the biggest highlight for this would be when/if I blow it and jerk off. I will just say that I'm feeling pretty confident in success lately. I have had no impulses to whack it for awhile. I'm in the zone.
Confidence Meter: 8 (Note that the meter will probably never go over 8 because there is always that chance that I might blow it on an uncontrollable impulse.
I'm kind of running out of juice for this diary deal. I feel like the biggest highlight for this would be when/if I blow it and jerk off. I will just say that I'm feeling pretty confident in success lately. I have had no impulses to whack it for awhile. I'm in the zone.
Confidence Meter: 8 (Note that the meter will probably never go over 8 because there is always that chance that I might blow it on an uncontrollable impulse.
2/18/08
Attempt at MOYD Numeral II
DAY THIRTEEN 9:07pm on 02/18/08
I don't have much to say tonight. I was suppose to sub in for one of my brothers friends hockey teams but he never called me. I was really looking forward to that. Now I have all this time. There might be an urge to jerk off but right now there isn't. I might just go to bed.
Confidence Meter: 6
I don't have much to say tonight. I was suppose to sub in for one of my brothers friends hockey teams but he never called me. I was really looking forward to that. Now I have all this time. There might be an urge to jerk off but right now there isn't. I might just go to bed.
Confidence Meter: 6
2/17/08
Attempt at MOYD Numeral II
DAY ELEVEN/TWELVE 5:32am on 02/16/08
Day ten is a huge milestone. I'm pretty sure I mentioned that in the last entry so it might seem like I'm dragging on themes, which is true- the overall theme of not jerking off. No, but seriously, saying I haven't jerked off in ten days is impressive. Most healthy males my age cannot say such a thing at this moment, which makes it the first proud* moment of this challenge. More people know that I am doing this again which is a great thing, partly because I posted a ling to here on my lost lj and also because of general lent talk. I strive on the pressure. An audience just escalates the end product. I think I should of held out longer though. I did the same thing about midway last year and it seemed to propel me to the end. My early lack of confidence probably pushed me to go public though. Nonetheless, heres to me, ten days sober (celibate). 36 to go!
Funny related note- I have a calender up in my room and I have been crossing out the days since lent. Andres was over tonight and noticed it and said "I totally used to do that when I was a kid." I said, "Oh yea? You crossed off the days since you last masturbated too?" He didn't see that coming and we both laughed like bastards.
*my definition of proud is fucked up.
Confidence Meter: 7
Day ten is a huge milestone. I'm pretty sure I mentioned that in the last entry so it might seem like I'm dragging on themes, which is true- the overall theme of not jerking off. No, but seriously, saying I haven't jerked off in ten days is impressive. Most healthy males my age cannot say such a thing at this moment, which makes it the first proud* moment of this challenge. More people know that I am doing this again which is a great thing, partly because I posted a ling to here on my lost lj and also because of general lent talk. I strive on the pressure. An audience just escalates the end product. I think I should of held out longer though. I did the same thing about midway last year and it seemed to propel me to the end. My early lack of confidence probably pushed me to go public though. Nonetheless, heres to me, ten days sober (celibate). 36 to go!
Funny related note- I have a calender up in my room and I have been crossing out the days since lent. Andres was over tonight and noticed it and said "I totally used to do that when I was a kid." I said, "Oh yea? You crossed off the days since you last masturbated too?" He didn't see that coming and we both laughed like bastards.
*my definition of proud is fucked up.
Confidence Meter: 7
2/15/08
Attempt at MOYD Numeral II
DAY TEN 9:45pm on 02/15/08
Since I'm the seasoned pro at this master of domain shpeel, I know that this game is about baby steps and Day 10 in a huge baby step. Today is day nine. Almost day ten. Thats how you get through this game. You rip off chunks of ten. I'm feeling good.
Confidence Meter: 7
Since I'm the seasoned pro at this master of domain shpeel, I know that this game is about baby steps and Day 10 in a huge baby step. Today is day nine. Almost day ten. Thats how you get through this game. You rip off chunks of ten. I'm feeling good.
Confidence Meter: 7
2/14/08
Attempt at MOYD Numeral II
DAY NINE 9:07 on 02/14/08
Valentine's Day. Nuff said. Maybe not. Valentine's Day might be the one day out of the year when I don't want to jerk off. I'm already lonely enough on this holiday that jerking off just makes it that much more lonelier. I don't want to be a sap or anything but twenty two Valentine's days alone is pretty discouraging. I should change that. Creating a journal like this will help!! Fuck me.
Whatever, like I said, I don't care to relieve myself on this day. Last Valentine's Day I was just starting this whole mess of a challenge and I spent the night by myself watching Marie Antoinette (for those who don't know I have had a thing for Kirsten Dunst since Jumanji- fuck off) and drinking really shitty vodka. Once I saw her bum in that movie I almost lost it. That was a very dismal night. This year is different. I just got done playing a great game of hockey with a lot of the people we used to play with back in the day. That made me really happy because pick up games have been pretty disappointing for the last couple seasons. In addition to that I have late night Wild to watch. One similarity to last year- I shall get a taste. Good Day you fucking dick head of a journal.
Confidence Meter: 8 ( No kidding? )
Valentine's Day. Nuff said. Maybe not. Valentine's Day might be the one day out of the year when I don't want to jerk off. I'm already lonely enough on this holiday that jerking off just makes it that much more lonelier. I don't want to be a sap or anything but twenty two Valentine's days alone is pretty discouraging. I should change that. Creating a journal like this will help!! Fuck me.
Whatever, like I said, I don't care to relieve myself on this day. Last Valentine's Day I was just starting this whole mess of a challenge and I spent the night by myself watching Marie Antoinette (for those who don't know I have had a thing for Kirsten Dunst since Jumanji- fuck off) and drinking really shitty vodka. Once I saw her bum in that movie I almost lost it. That was a very dismal night. This year is different. I just got done playing a great game of hockey with a lot of the people we used to play with back in the day. That made me really happy because pick up games have been pretty disappointing for the last couple seasons. In addition to that I have late night Wild to watch. One similarity to last year- I shall get a taste. Good Day you fucking dick head of a journal.
Confidence Meter: 8 ( No kidding? )
2/13/08
Attempt at MOYD Numeral II
DAY EIGHT 10:17pm on 02/13/08
So I'm one week into this bad boy. Six more to go. That sounds awful. If the next week is anything like this past week than I might be out of luck. I shaved me balls yesterday. That was a bad idea. Usually they get a treat after that, not this time. Ahhh.
Confidence Meter: 5
So I'm one week into this bad boy. Six more to go. That sounds awful. If the next week is anything like this past week than I might be out of luck. I shaved me balls yesterday. That was a bad idea. Usually they get a treat after that, not this time. Ahhh.
Confidence Meter: 5
2/12/08
Attempt at MOYD Numeral II
DAY SEVEN 10:42pm on 02/12/08
February 12th is Lincoln's birthday. More importantly, February 12th is day seven of lent.
Only forty more days to go!
Holy fuck.
Confidence Meter: 4
February 12th is Lincoln's birthday. More importantly, February 12th is day seven of lent.
Only forty more days to go!
Holy fuck.
Confidence Meter: 4
Attempt at MOYD Numeral II
DAY SIX 3:06am on 02/11/08
I'm kind of losing hope for this. I keep telling myself to cheat and keep the journal running like nothing happened. This is not good. I promise, right now, that I will not cheat. If I jerk off, thats it, thats the end. I'll announce it here. I don't remember the first week being this tough last year. I figure I had planned on it for so long that I was mentally prepared. This year I kind of just started it. I wasn't in the right frame of mind. I don't think the journal is helping either. It makes me think about it when I don't have to. For instance, tonight at work no one showed up the entire night. I was getting quite bored and was thinking about going into the bathroom and doing the deed. I would have never of thought of doing this a week ago. The game transforms you. Tonight at Chris' we were watching what seemed to be vintage porn clips from the old days. I'm not talking 70's Debby Does Dallas old days. I'm talking film is a new medium- Charlie Chaplin type of porn. It wasn't anything special but it was not what somebody in my condition should have been watching.
I don't know. Maybe I should just get blackout drunk every night for the next forty days. I got shitfaced last night and couldn't remember how I got to bed. That made it easy.
Confidence Meter: 2
I'm kind of losing hope for this. I keep telling myself to cheat and keep the journal running like nothing happened. This is not good. I promise, right now, that I will not cheat. If I jerk off, thats it, thats the end. I'll announce it here. I don't remember the first week being this tough last year. I figure I had planned on it for so long that I was mentally prepared. This year I kind of just started it. I wasn't in the right frame of mind. I don't think the journal is helping either. It makes me think about it when I don't have to. For instance, tonight at work no one showed up the entire night. I was getting quite bored and was thinking about going into the bathroom and doing the deed. I would have never of thought of doing this a week ago. The game transforms you. Tonight at Chris' we were watching what seemed to be vintage porn clips from the old days. I'm not talking 70's Debby Does Dallas old days. I'm talking film is a new medium- Charlie Chaplin type of porn. It wasn't anything special but it was not what somebody in my condition should have been watching.
I don't know. Maybe I should just get blackout drunk every night for the next forty days. I got shitfaced last night and couldn't remember how I got to bed. That made it easy.
Confidence Meter: 2
2/10/08
Attempt at MOYD Numeral II
DAY FIVE 5:02am on 02/10/08
I just got done working. It is awful out. There might be a colder day in the year technically but I'll say right now that tonight was the most miserable. Every time I had to get out of the car I wanted to kill myself. The legacy is getting really angry at me and needs an oil and fluids change. Soon my baby, soon. It would be nice to rub one out real quick to give me something of pleasure after a few hours of hell. Ahh, but no. Not this early in the game. Not with Tom sleeping on the couch down the hall. I have the lack of sleep on my side right now though. There have been a few times in my life where I almost have fallen asleep in the middle of beating off. <-- First nomination for the award for most pathetic things posted in this journal. I expect the other nominations to start flowing in.
"You know whats a fun game?"
"You take three excedrin pm's and you see if you can jack off before you fall asleep. You always win, thats the best part."
Confidence Meter: 5
I just got done working. It is awful out. There might be a colder day in the year technically but I'll say right now that tonight was the most miserable. Every time I had to get out of the car I wanted to kill myself. The legacy is getting really angry at me and needs an oil and fluids change. Soon my baby, soon. It would be nice to rub one out real quick to give me something of pleasure after a few hours of hell. Ahh, but no. Not this early in the game. Not with Tom sleeping on the couch down the hall. I have the lack of sleep on my side right now though. There have been a few times in my life where I almost have fallen asleep in the middle of beating off. <-- First nomination for the award for most pathetic things posted in this journal. I expect the other nominations to start flowing in.
"You know whats a fun game?"
"You take three excedrin pm's and you see if you can jack off before you fall asleep. You always win, thats the best part."
Confidence Meter: 5
2/9/08
Attempt at MOYD Numeral II
DAY THREE 11:21pm on 02/09/08
I'm feeling alright. I'm already losing track of days. This could very well be my day four post. I don't know if losing track of days this early on in the game is a good or bad thing. I sat at work all day doing nothing and didn't think about the challenge once. So overall, a pretty good day. However, the downside of keeping a running diary of this is that even if I'm not thinking about jerking it I eventually will once I realize I haven't journaled. Oh well, have to stay positive. I'm almost through my first weekend.
Confidence Meter: 6
I'm feeling alright. I'm already losing track of days. This could very well be my day four post. I don't know if losing track of days this early on in the game is a good or bad thing. I sat at work all day doing nothing and didn't think about the challenge once. So overall, a pretty good day. However, the downside of keeping a running diary of this is that even if I'm not thinking about jerking it I eventually will once I realize I haven't journaled. Oh well, have to stay positive. I'm almost through my first weekend.
Confidence Meter: 6
2/8/08
Attempt at MOYD Numeral II
DAY TWO/THREE 7:43pm on 02/08/2008
So I did the math and there is a grand total of 46 days during lent this year. This is a pretty discouraging find. Whats with the 40 days deal? Its been closer to 50 the past couple of years.
Because of this, my confidence meter will decrease. Hopefully a busy weekend with work will put my mind somewhere else and tire me out.
Confidence Meter: 3
So I did the math and there is a grand total of 46 days during lent this year. This is a pretty discouraging find. Whats with the 40 days deal? Its been closer to 50 the past couple of years.
Because of this, my confidence meter will decrease. Hopefully a busy weekend with work will put my mind somewhere else and tire me out.
Confidence Meter: 3
Section I: Attempt at MOYD Numeral II
I find it fitting that I finally start this journal right as I begin my second attempt at that unholiest, but holiest, little thing known as celibacy. Fitting because it is the only sort of idea that I have had in quite some time- to keep a running diary while I try not to jerk off. I lost on technicality during my first attempt at becoming master of my domain during lent last year. I thought Jesus only wanted me to go 40 days and 40 nights (fuck that misleading movie) but he in fact wanted me to go all the way to Easter. This knowledge came straight from the the priest on Sean Moriarty's campus. So I wont argue with it. So without further ado, here goes attempt number 2.
DAY ONE- Originally written at 6:50pm on
02/07/08
Speaking of technicalities, I jerked off at approximately 1:30 am on the morning of Ash Wednesday. I don't know all the details of when exactly lent starts. I assume it does right after you're ashed, but I haven't done that since my Benilde days. So depending how you look at it, I might be out of the running for this already. I would like to think Jesus would give me the benefit of doubt in this scenario, so I will. If he in fact does not, maybe Mike Huckabee should be the man who runs this country... I beat off early that morning because I didn't even realize the season of lent was upon us. Last year I was prepared and was able to get one last glorious session in there. This year I had no such luxury. That might prove to be better though. We'll have to wait and see I guess. Last year I went in with a ton of confidence. This year, not so much. I'll have to cut out some of the tendencies I had last year. For instance, I kept downloading porn last year and would just watch it and not jerk off. I wont do that this year because a.) better outlets for high quality (makes you want to jerk off instantly) type of porn are available for me and b.) I am running low on hard drive space. It helps that I am currently living in a new environment at Justin house and don't have a set routine yet. That will have to wait another couple months I suppose, depending on how well this goes. I'm sure Andrew and Justin will sleep better these next couple of months know this. Part of the plan last year for the MOYD challenge was a desperation attempt to find a girl I could fuck around with. This is a completely legal move in the MOYD game. This did not happen last year and I don't foresee it happening this year either. You never know though, right? Yea I do, it's not happening.
Alright, I'm going to keep a confidence meter throughout this deal. It will be on a scale of 1 to 10. 1- being an impulse a way from pulling my dick out and exploding and 10-sleeping naked after watching hours of porn.
Confidence Meter: 4
DAY ONE- Originally written at 6:50pm on
02/07/08
Speaking of technicalities, I jerked off at approximately 1:30 am on the morning of Ash Wednesday. I don't know all the details of when exactly lent starts. I assume it does right after you're ashed, but I haven't done that since my Benilde days. So depending how you look at it, I might be out of the running for this already. I would like to think Jesus would give me the benefit of doubt in this scenario, so I will. If he in fact does not, maybe Mike Huckabee should be the man who runs this country... I beat off early that morning because I didn't even realize the season of lent was upon us. Last year I was prepared and was able to get one last glorious session in there. This year I had no such luxury. That might prove to be better though. We'll have to wait and see I guess. Last year I went in with a ton of confidence. This year, not so much. I'll have to cut out some of the tendencies I had last year. For instance, I kept downloading porn last year and would just watch it and not jerk off. I wont do that this year because a.) better outlets for high quality (makes you want to jerk off instantly) type of porn are available for me and b.) I am running low on hard drive space. It helps that I am currently living in a new environment at Justin house and don't have a set routine yet. That will have to wait another couple months I suppose, depending on how well this goes. I'm sure Andrew and Justin will sleep better these next couple of months know this. Part of the plan last year for the MOYD challenge was a desperation attempt to find a girl I could fuck around with. This is a completely legal move in the MOYD game. This did not happen last year and I don't foresee it happening this year either. You never know though, right? Yea I do, it's not happening.
Alright, I'm going to keep a confidence meter throughout this deal. It will be on a scale of 1 to 10. 1- being an impulse a way from pulling my dick out and exploding and 10-sleeping naked after watching hours of porn.
Confidence Meter: 4
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