Attempt at MOYD Numeral II

DAY SIX 3:06am on 02/11/08

I'm kind of losing hope for this. I keep telling myself to cheat and keep the journal running like nothing happened. This is not good. I promise, right now, that I will not cheat. If I jerk off, thats it, thats the end. I'll announce it here. I don't remember the first week being this tough last year. I figure I had planned on it for so long that I was mentally prepared. This year I kind of just started it. I wasn't in the right frame of mind. I don't think the journal is helping either. It makes me think about it when I don't have to. For instance, tonight at work no one showed up the entire night. I was getting quite bored and was thinking about going into the bathroom and doing the deed. I would have never of thought of doing this a week ago. The game transforms you. Tonight at Chris' we were watching what seemed to be vintage porn clips from the old days. I'm not talking 70's Debby Does Dallas old days. I'm talking film is a new medium- Charlie Chaplin type of porn. It wasn't anything special but it was not what somebody in my condition should have been watching.

I don't know. Maybe I should just get blackout drunk every night for the next forty days. I got shitfaced last night and couldn't remember how I got to bed. That made it easy.

Confidence Meter: 2