2/8/08

Section I: Attempt at MOYD Numeral II

I find it fitting that I finally start this journal right as I begin my second attempt at that unholiest, but holiest, little thing known as celibacy. Fitting because it is the only sort of idea that I have had in quite some time- to keep a running diary while I try not to jerk off. I lost on technicality during my first attempt at becoming master of my domain during lent last year. I thought Jesus only wanted me to go 40 days and 40 nights (fuck that misleading movie) but he in fact wanted me to go all the way to Easter. This knowledge came straight from the the priest on Sean Moriarty's campus. So I wont argue with it. So without further ado, here goes attempt number 2.

DAY ONE- Originally written at 6:50pm on
02/07/08

Speaking of technicalities, I jerked off at approximately 1:30 am on the morning of Ash Wednesday. I don't know all the details of when exactly lent starts. I assume it does right after you're ashed, but I haven't done that since my Benilde days. So depending how you look at it, I might be out of the running for this already. I would like to think Jesus would give me the benefit of doubt in this scenario, so I will. If he in fact does not, maybe Mike Huckabee should be the man who runs this country... I beat off early that morning because I didn't even realize the season of lent was upon us. Last year I was prepared and was able to get one last glorious session in there. This year I had no such luxury. That might prove to be better though. We'll have to wait and see I guess. Last year I went in with a ton of confidence. This year, not so much. I'll have to cut out some of the tendencies I had last year. For instance, I kept downloading porn last year and would just watch it and not jerk off. I wont do that this year because a.) better outlets for high quality (makes you want to jerk off instantly) type of porn are available for me and b.) I am running low on hard drive space. It helps that I am currently living in a new environment at Justin house and don't have a set routine yet. That will have to wait another couple months I suppose, depending on how well this goes. I'm sure Andrew and Justin will sleep better these next couple of months know this. Part of the plan last year for the MOYD challenge was a desperation attempt to find a girl I could fuck around with. This is a completely legal move in the MOYD game. This did not happen last year and I don't foresee it happening this year either. You never know though, right? Yea I do, it's not happening.

Alright, I'm going to keep a confidence meter throughout this deal. It will be on a scale of 1 to 10. 1- being an impulse a way from pulling my dick out and exploding and 10-sleeping naked after watching hours of porn.

Confidence Meter: 4

2 comments:

Dan said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Dan said...

Thanks for the reference to this post. I take back what Jesus and I said in my last comment, and I support you in full. I now propose a toast..... *raises bottle of water next to my desk*...

"To Tyler, the only one dumb enough, strong enough, brave enough, goddamn daring enough to pursue MOYD amongst us lesser men here today. Here here, jumanji jumanji. *drink*"