It has been a while so I figured I would at least come here to inform the public that I am still gold. Last time I checked in I was very pessimistic. The days were going by so slow. Now as I stand tall on day thirty eight I have not one negative thought on my weighty goal. A new month equals a full, decaffeinated, pube bearded, little man. Nine days stand in the way of corruption for me and I couldn't be happier. I think this is my last go around for this bitch. The mental strain during the middle of the conquest is too much to handle. I wish the pain on no one, not even on my biggest enemy.
Recently I started taking sleeping aid's again. They really are great if you can get past the drowsiness in the morning. One of the positives is that you have some pretty vivid dreams. I had forgot about those. Now you would think a man in my current condition would have some pretty rocking sexual adventures in his dreams. And yes, I sort of did. The fucked up thing is that the only one I can really remember is one where I wasn't getting any sort of external pleasure from someone else but that I was simply just jerking off. The image is very clear in my head still. Just watching myself jerking off to nothing. It was very cruel. I realized what was happening and was telling myself, "No! You're almost to your goal! What are you doing!" I came a mile in my dream and immediately woke up saying out loud, "What the fuck?" No nocturnal emission. God is so cruel that he wouldn't even let me relieve myself naturally.
I don't know when my attitude turned around but I'm pretty sure it was shortly after this experience. Nine days to go folks. There is light at the end of the tunnel and I am moving towards it swiftly.
Nocturnal Emissions: 0